[[*---Virtu contro al Furore---*]]

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

______________________________

What happened to you
You played the victim for so long now in this game
What I thought was true
Is made of fiction and I’m following the same

But if I try to make sense of this mess I’m in
I’m not sure where I should begin
I’m fallin’
I’m fallin’

Now I’m in over my head
For something I said
Completely misread
I’m better off dead

And now I can see
I think it could be
This hypocrisy is beginning to get to me

It’s none of my concern
What is luck to me I don’t believe in fame
I guess you never heard
I bet the makers they don’t even know your name

But if I had to say goodbye to leave this hell
I think my time has served me well
I’m fallin’
I’m fallin’

[chorus]

This came all before
Those who suffer more
I’m too awake for this to be a nightmare

What’s with my disgrace
I lost the human race
No one left for this to blow up in you face

Who said it was so easy to put back all of these pieces
Who said it was so easy to put back all of these pieces

[chorus]

Over my head
Better off dead

Over my head
Better off dead

gah. one third of 2004 has come and gone. but yet nothing seems to be going my way.
but wait. why am i always talking bout me?
hmm.
got lots of rather obvious hints recently, but somehow dint realize them. but now i do
epiphany
i'm very thick-skinned. but the problem is, im also kinda screwed up
yeah well maybe i haven't realized it yet, but my EQ is very low.
like what those people say. even if your IQ is high, but your EQ is low, then you still amount to nothing.
well and in this case, i'm not even sure my IQ is high.
aside from that, why do i keep pestering people? i always pester good groups and ask to join them, whereas now i realize that good groups are only as good as their leader. and honestly, as a group leader, i've kinda failed.
1. i pester pple too much.
2. i'm obnoxious
3. i'm a control freak
4. i'm too ego.
5. i'm too thick (i.e. dumb)
6. i don't realize tact when i see it.

so yeah. who cares about my grades being high or what not? my EQ still sucks and i need to improve it, at advice of my friends. (shall not mention names). also found out that jeremy foo is a very nice person! he's gonna lend me his vid cam even tho 1. im not in his grp and 2. he might have to use it. what a nice guy... shall be a blast working with him on shakespeare.
once again mun (and the rest of the pre-IB as well) i would like to apologize for the ballot system. i know that you all don't like it and probably never will. so i'm not gonna start rationalizing here about why it's good or it's not.
it's in place, and i can't change that.
yeah. (reminds self to not be such a control freak)
why am i one? i always end up leading a group, telling pple what to do, and due to my low eq, generally end up bossing pple around. for once i would like to take a back seat to others and let them lead instead. getting tired of my own ineffective leadership.

*slaps self for not blogging*
*slaps self again for reasons stated above*

sigh... guess it'll take a long time to correct these faults of mine... so onwards i go.

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|8:26 PM|