Cacophony.
Beauty so Pervasive
Rhapsody so Epiphanic
Mirrors the Soul
Majestic Maestro
Face locked like Ice
Steel Concentration
Fingers Fly
Vibrato Concerto
Neverending Paradise.
The Sculptor.
King of Strings.
Michael.
Angelo.
Batio.
God of Guitar.
Untouchable.
Unwavering.
Immortal.
Hmm in response to kal's 26 oct entry (no i am not taking shiv's stance... i'll see how once he responds)
"The cause of crime cannot be the economy when one’s economic standing doesn’t affect crime."
Au contraire. Economic standing does affect crime. Why do you think that the recent cocaine bust created an enormous stir amongst society, more so than the regular drug busts at the causeway, even though much less cocaine was recovered than in many of the attempts to smuggle huge amounts of heroin through the causeway? It's simply because the people who abused the drugs in this case were high-standing members of society. Therefore, isn't this the exception rather than the norm? Rather, most of the time, drug abusers (especially those featured in the news) languor around in some dank apartments, junking away their lives. Are any of these common drug abuse busts members of high society? Naturally, the most recent cocaine bust was a more isolated (though not singular) example. On another note, it is statistically proven that the poor are more likely to commit crimes, simply because of their low social standings. Though i do concede that certain crimes are universal across the board - but generally economic standing does affect crime rate.
"The duty of the government is to act on your behalf for your sake, as it has the responsibility to ensure you don’t harm yourself. This is precisely why the government is there. "
But how far can the government infringe on your liberty? If it does have the responsibility to ensure that you don't harm yourself, does it then have the rights to check your private thoughts and contain depressed individuals so that they don't commit suicide? In that sense, yes, we do punish the drug traffickers because they are causing other people to harm themselves. But how far can we punish people who are willing to harm themselves? Do we see people getting hauled off the streets or out of school for wanton self-mutilation? Of course we don't. Isn't that then a fallacy of the justice system? Shouldn't we punish people who mutilate themselves, because they are causing harm to themselves? And if we don't, how do we then extend the ideal of protecting you from yourself to taking drugs?
"Again, what was proposed were talks and counseling for people who show a high potential for such violent crimes in the future, such that the beneficial effect of this counseling has the ability to take effect before the harm is done."
However, what is important is that the potential cannot really be accurately judged. Also, didn't you mention later in the same entry that you direct all than you can to solve the problem. Still, realize that the aftereffects of Columbine were effected only after a precedent was set. By this logic, if no precedent is set for a type of crime, how will we accurately judge the potential of people to commit crimes? According to your logic, shoudn't we give all poor people who do not receive good education counseling because they are likely to commit monetary-based crimes on the basis of their economic standing?
What i do agree with Kal on is that some form of pre-emption is necessary. We need to ensure potential threats to society can be dealt with to some extent before they can cause harm. What i just do not get is how one would accurately judge that potential to cause harm to people. I listen to Marilyn Manson. Does that put me at high risk to commit a crime?
"Though I agree that the majority of gang related crimes are between gangs, it is worth noting that unrelated and innocent people who unfortunately are in the wrong place at the wrong time are also victims of gang violence, through drive by shootings, hostage taking, and random acts of violence."
Drive by shootings do actually take place often with a motive. Do gangs run by and start randomly shooting people? The problem is, gangs only attack people with a motive. Yes, it is true that "messing" with a gang does not correlate that the gang has any right to attack the person. However, do we not often lessen a crime because it was provoked? That is why there are such things as culpable homicide not amounting to murder, because of provocation. While "messing" with a gang doesn't give them any rights to attack you back, it absolves them of some part of the crime when they do finally get their back. Finally. What happens when people see a gang fight? Yup. They run. The only reason why absolute innocents should be involved in gang affairs is if they really are quite stupid or unreactive. Otherwise, they should be able to see the trouble coming, and take due flight actions. Besides, according to your logic, gang members aren't innocent anymore, so if gang member a goes and hacks up gang member b on a bus, both of them are at fault right?
"Please, prove that it can be micromanaged, and prove that it can return successes before you assert anything."
Anything on such a small scale as singapore can be micromanaged. Look at the ISD which managed to catch terrorists before they committed a terror act. To date, not a single terror act has occurred in singapore. Things such as corruption are virtually non-existent because the CPIB is constantly breathing down everybody's neck. Things like that do prove that, whether of not expansion results in a drop in efficiency, miniaturization does result in increased efficiency.
"Also, I don’t see how rehabilitation and restitution are going to work because the media controls public opinion, or because people or stupid, or because of whatever you said."
Quite simply, if we can all agree on this point that the media controls public opinion, then if we do in fact modify what comes out of the media, then we can modify what the people think. Once again, you have to remember in the Singaporean context, the government does to a large extent control the media - remember that SPH is liased with the singaporean government, so the government can cover up statistics and present a nice and pretty picture to the people. One also has to remember, it is precisely because a lot of these criminals cannot re-integrate into society, that they then go on to commit more crimes because they cannot go back to a normal way of life in society. Let's face facts - we saw in that criminal video on tuesday (well kal you didn't see it but nevermind) that, a major flaw with the whole idea of restitution is that employers do not employ people with a past criminal record, even if they are really willing to reform. Let's look at it seriously; it's a vicious cycle. Employers do not think that criminals are willing to reform, so they do not hire them. From there, unemployment with regards to ex-offenders increases and thus, as we have established, crime rates rise. Thus many of these ex-offenders go on to commit more crimes, which reinstates the idea that criminals will go on to commit more crimes in the employers' minds.
One really has to do something about all those negative statistics in order to change the public perception of the whole idea that many criminals will go on to commit more crimes - that idea is one of the precise reasons why the criminals themselves do in fact go on to commit more crimes. Thus the government in this case has to make the media wash the whole issue over, to whitewash the whole issue, in order for societal perceptions to alter - remember that the ends do justify the means, so sometimes we have to do something that is wrong (such as hiding the truth) in order to get a righteous aim (allowing criminals to be reinstated properly and removing social stigma) accomplished.
More importantly, if restitution is indeed a fundamental tenet of the justice system, isn't it the responsibility of the system to ensure that such individuals are properly re-integrated into mainstream society? By extension, it is the duty, to an extent, of the justice system and the government which controls it, to change societal mindsets so that said criminals can be restituted? After all, it would be safe to say that the government does not enjoy locking people up in jail (on a utilitarian standpoint, it presents a drain on the country's economic resources, as criminals cannot work and contribute to the economy, and instead provide a resource drain as they have to be fed and accomodated in prisons), and thus it would also be in the government's best interests to ensure that criminals can become well-meaning, contributing members of society.
"It is not at the expense of the cause. If the cause takes a long time to resolve, or is even unable to be resolved, do you not treat the symptoms?"
I fully agree with kal on this - look above for my view on the resolving of the cause. So shiv, one must first treat the symptoms, by locking the prisoners away for some extended period of time, before one can effect the treatment to the root problem. With the solution detailed above, it is just as well because society will need time to adjust their mindsets, to be accomodating to prisoners, and we cannot have any re-offenders committing crimes to negate this carefully-built mindset. So yes, do lock them away for a while, until it is ascertained that most of society has indeed accepted the new mindset, that criminals are willing to reform and re-integrate.
On a small note of contention though, considering the large number of repeat offenders in this present day and age, woudn't it be rather economically unsound to lock away prisoners for life after 3 offenses, especially since many of these offenders might still be in their 20s? Still, i suppose to re-inforce the mindset that offenders have resolved, we DO seal away those unresolved - no point changing societal mindsets when a few hardcore black sheep will just go and ruin it all again anyway.
Comments Please.
Blogging in the sch library because I am unofficially banned from com at home, thanks to chinese Os. Well i suppose I could use it, but that's if i finish my practice chinese papers, which is quite unlikely given that I'm not that particularly motivated about them.
On a more positive note, managed to obtain John Meyer's Heavier Things from Josh Hoe, must say it's quite good, and a positive departure from what i usually listen to. But also, relaxing is crucial - no need to be too stressed over anything, especially Exams, since pressure doesn't seem to have any positive effects.
Rather, pressure often causes people to crack, bend, and in some extreme cases, break. Haven't we all heard about primary school boys jumping to their deaths because of too much parental or exam pressure, especially close to PSLE? We may simply dismiss them as extreme cases who cannot work within the confines of the system. And it is indeed true that they are extreme cases otherwise people wouldn't be jumping at every incidence of this, and this would be the norm, not the exception.
At the other end of the spectrum, people condemn the system for being too utilitarian and too impersonal. Goals are set out, and people who fall under the purview of the system are expected to follow such goals, albeit not without some questions. Is this too autocratic? Are we deviating from the ideals of democracy? Yet i think it was at the most recent Pre-IB colloquium that one of the speakers talked about democracy, and how it is realistically impossible to have a pure democracy, where all individuals are indeed equal. Even the Ancient Greeks, who came the closest to a pure democracy with each person being able to voice his views and a huge council of citizens (over 40,000 people) voted on public and national issues, did not have a pure democracy, as the nobles still had considerably more clout than the citizens. Yet issues of democracy aside (we'll leave that to another day), should we fault our education system for being overly meritocratic? Is there even such a thing as over-meritocratism? I think not.
Thus, we must eventually learn to work within the confines of our system, and all the while try to have fun, and live our lives the best we know how. Release the pressure, and take a break! Or at least, learn to relax while doing what is necessary. People are always chiding themselves (or others are chiding them) for being too distracted from their work, and going off tangent while they do stuff at the com. Still, could we realistically expect ourselves to confine ourselves strictly to work when we are working? I believe (at least for my case, not sure about others) that doing one's work extremely seriously and not taking any form of a break would indeed stifle one's creativity, and even to the extent that one cannot concentrate on one's work or proceeds at a snail's pace. Distraction (naturally in moderation!) does indeed help to stimulate one's creative juices, and even if one is not doing a particularly creative or interesting task, distractions help to provide an alternative, a deviation from the monotony of work, which then contrasts with the work itself. At that time then, one somehow becomes more motivated to do one's work, in that doing work and taking breaks periodically increases productivity. Afterall, it is well documented in SuperTeen that most teenagers have an average attention span of 15 minutes, after which fact retention decreases in a roughly exponential fashion, to the point where a person will simply switch off. Yet since 15 minute sessions (of work, or lectures, or other stuff like that) would be rather ineffective, we then extend it to about 30 minute sessions. Thus every 30 minutes of work, feel free to distract yourself for about 10 minutes (of course, not too long), and after that, your attention and motivation will be most refreshed and rejuvenated.
Distractions, are, overall, quite necessary. (If you read this, feel free to share this with your parents, although do remember to back it some with some SuperTeen data). Distractions provide a contrast to monotonous work, and a necessary deviation that does improve productivity. Now if you like the work you're doing, that might be a totally different story, or it might not, but the same rules do not necessarily apply.
On another slightly unrelated note, Arthur Schopenhauer did remark that the arts, namely music, drama, and so on, help us to transcend our base human experiences, and that our terrible and meaningless existence can be momentarily taken up to a higher conscience and sensation by the experience of the arts. While i do beg to differ on his philosophy that life is terrible and meaningless (after all, they DID call him the ultimate pessimist philosopher for a reason), i do feel that the arts really do help to transcend our human experience. Religion too, but i shall leave that out here.
Music, when in any version in all, helps to convey human emotion and experience in ways perhaps not possible within our limited perception. Are we not often "at a loss for words"? In the same way, music helps us to express what we could not normally fully express within the limited confines of language alone. Of course, we know that most songs have lyrics, and we may then question, do they really help to transcend human experience? How can humans create something that can expand their perceptions and express themselves in unspoken ways? Yet I believe that music is not purely a product of the artiste, not merely lyrics written by a songwriter, not just a sweet voice of some singer, but instead, the conurcopia of all, the collective of the music, the lyrics, the conveyor (whether the singer or instrumentalist) brings together all the elements, all the base human-conjured elements, and somehow this combination helps to elevate our consciousness beyond human limits. This is how, people have often felt touched by a song, above any other. It's not just the lyrics, though they are most indispensable; it's not the melody, though there is no song without it; it's not the overall meaning behind the song, though that is most important to note; rather, it is an arbitrary collective effect of all these elements, that creates a special, often unforeseen effect, that touches people, that brings people to tears, and wells up emotion in them.
The beauty of music itself cannot be expressed in words. Do i feel energized by heavy metal as a result of the fast beat? The angry lyrics? The rapid guitar riffs? No. Instead, it is something beyond all that, that makes me listen to things that i do not believe in, to listen to absurdities, just for the unspeakable feelings that it creates. So when music speaks to you, treasure that experience, and treasure that feeling, for it is rare, and it is transcendence.
On a less philosophical note, people in my class are playing War3 ROC in class on a friend's laptop. How lame! War3 on a touchpad and no numpad to assign items to. Munchkin has also become a class tradition; there's always a game on in class, provided people are in class at that time. Also had a fun time playing bball for about 1.5 hours with some sec 2s, with 3.8 people.
Hmm. Hope the library will be improved when our new complex opens. Until then, guess we'll have to search for books by author... How antiquated...
Mood - Refreshed
Song - John Meyer - Come Back to Bed
Some random things i found out over the course of the weekend.
1) Proper meals are not overrated. Didn't have a single proper meal on friday, and had some nasty gastric on saturday as a result. Perhaps i should reconsider all that saving money...
2) Jap stuff is insanely expensive. 2 bux for 2 pcs of sushi? and 6.50 for 4 pcs of raw tuna. Ended up spending $20 at sakae sushi thanks to raw tuna and mini-octopus (each 6.50) so there goes half of my weekly allowance. Argh.
3) When you wake up early, your body clock resets. Woke up at 3.30 am on Saturday to watch some sparkler fireworks (which were unfortunately quite disappointing) and went back to find that someone had koped my sleeping place on my sleeping bag, which was rather annoying; so since i couldn't sleep on the floor i tried sleeping on the benches outside the container stack, only to find that heavy rains = massive bug infestation = unending irritation. So much for sleep. So somehow after getting tired by PT, breakfast at 8 seems like 10, after helping out at Sc Olympiad at NYGH for 4 hours (well it was a bit boring), it feels like 4 even though its only 12, and after watching debates at AC barker, it feels like 7 or 8 even though its only 4. argh. needless to say, it feels like 12 mn after having dinner with DEP pple even though its only 7.30. So i go to sleep at 9 because it feels like 1 am. Haha... remind me not to wake up so early again.
4) Found out who allison is (in person, not just someone that Deecky knows) cause somehow she was outside NYGH at 1, so shiv bumped into her and talked to her fo a while... so i noticed the name on her bag? Yar so that was quite interesting...
5) Mouseballs are made of solid steel (coated with rubber of course). Hehe after i managed to peel off the rubber shell of a mouseball in the NCC room, went home and did the same thing for 2 mouseballs that came from some spoilt com mouses before... so now I have 3 solid steel ball bearings now. wonder what i'll do with them. Quite good for stress relief though, rolling them around in my hand... plus interestingly mouseballs bounce better without their rubber coatings even though it is widely assumed that rubber is naturally bouncy... suppose they are acting as shock absorbers in this case.
Random musings aside, I think I need to go now. Mug for O levels or do some chores. Yah must go for tuition all 4 times this week... don go after the Os or something.
Realize that I am being the most unadulterated egotistic person this side of ACS Pre-IB GEP.
I better step back a little and stop asking about people's grades, or stop pestering them, or stop parading my geog marks and so on. Mun doesn't do that does he? But he knows he's good enough. He knows that, regardless of what others say, he's still there. Up there. Somewhere where we may grasp at, but cannot surpass.
As for me? perhaps I feel that I have a greater burden of proof to others, to show them, that for whatever showboating earlier in the year, I have the goods to back all of that up. Yet self-praise is no praise but a universal disgrace. (Hmm. I think someone else coined that term before.)
Yups. Know lots of people did not do as well as they wanted to, so don't feel too sad, y'all... it's only one exam so just take it easy. No matter how many tears you cry, it won't change what's already there, so just take the hit and stride on...
Keep Striving, everyone.
"Never, Never, Never, Never, Never Give Up!" - Winston Churchill, during WWII
Yes I know that sounded cheesy. Whatever.
and there was good news
and there was more good news.
and there was even more good news.
it's like
the dough of the cake.
then the yeast.
then the icing.
"Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." - John 16:24
how true indeed.
So upon asking Mr. Chirnside, found out that I did top IHS after all, and hearing from Tim Lim, apparently the development question (qn 14) was a very technical question, which explained why so many people (or was it everyone who did that question?) screwed up. Bad luck guys.
So finally, I go to founder's day with the same number of awards as Mun. *shakes hand* good battle there! 3 awards, plus erm...yah no other person from GEP has more than 1 award. surprising turnout in that manner this year.
To God Be The Glory, Great Things He Has Done.
Mood - Elated
Song - Muse - Butterflies and Hurricanes
the LORD lift up the light of his countenance upon you...
and give you peace...
and give you peace...
and give you peace,
and be gracious, unto you....
Euphoria. Transcendence. How can one describe it? Not the unnatural heightened state given by metamphetamines, which leads to a most bodily-exhausting crash. Yet a great high nonetheless, one which will linger on, and one which will shine and exemplify.
Yet not my will, but thy will be done, LORD.
How can I say thanks
How can I thank him enough for my grades? I know myself that I did not study. Not enough at any rate, with only approximately 1 revision across the board.
For the things You have done for me,
Things so undeserved,
Yet You gave to prove Your love for me.
The voices of a million angels
Could not express my gratitude.
All that I am and ever hope to be,
I owe it all to Thee.
To God be the glory,
To God be the glory,
To God be the glory,
For the things He has done.
With His blood He has saved me,
With His power He has raised me,
To God be the glory,
For the things He has done.
Just let me live my life,
Let it be pleasing, Lord, to Thee,
And if I gain any praise,
Let it go to Calvary.
With His blood He has saved me,
With His power He has raised me,
To God be the glory,
For the things He has done.
Yet he has blessed me. Truly LORD, your Grace is Sufficient for me, and Your Power is made Perfect in my Weakness. LORD, all that I have I lay at your feet, and your grace and mercy abound through the heavens...
Got my results back today, and I must say that I did much better than expected (thanks largely in part to moderation), but with many shockers too...
(All marks stated are in percentages, WITH moderation. Moderation was 10% for Physics and both Maths, and 15% for Chemistry. All other subjects are without moderation.)
Language Arts - 76. Decent. Expected about this much, got about this much. Nothing to crow about, but decent enough to begin with. Overall the paper was, I think, marked quite strictly so i'm happy with this mark... Congrats to Colin for topping the pre-IB across the board with 88... Must say that his paper is quite scary with regards to standard... So he most certainly deserved it...
Chinese - 63. Pretty ok with regards to the rest of the year, considering I was roughly averaging about 50-56 % for most of the tests... I suppose, strangely, that the larger Chinese tests are the ones that I do better in. This was like 5th in class so that's ok... Gratz to Roy for finally giving mun a Real run for his money.... Yea Roy topped with a 77...
Physics - 82.5. A little below expectations, since it was 72.5 before moderation. Still, it's quite ok overall, considering that I was really slacking off the entire year... Also, studied like 1 day before the exam and didn't have time to practice it... So i suppose overall it's quite decent... Yup and congratz to Bryan for topping with a 100... (92 before moderation) you going prize-less last year was certainly quite a shock for most people... So you've claimed back a prize this year... Welcome back! :P
Chemistry - 88.75. Somewhat of a shock. I think the amount of moderation formed the large part of the shock. Yup. 15%.... Amazing what Dr. Ong will do if 2/3 of the pre-IB fails... Oh well... I topped this one and perhaps it wasn't that much of a shock to that many people, considering I was there since erm... somewhere in Term 3 onwards.
Core Maths - 93.375. I did expect to do about this well (83.375 before moderation) so I guess that much was fine... Not much to say here except congrats to Mun... You proved once again that your Maths is really that untouchable... 100 and 95 before moderation, what can I say but ph33r him...
Adv Maths - 70. Quite disgusting. I didn't expect that low (60 before moderation) and I think i have one of the widest gulfs between both maths... oh well. A reasonable consequence of not enough practice, not listening in class, and not enough revision before the exams, not to mention extremely poor time management, as I left out the last question which was very simple and worth a whole 9 marks... Anyway, Mun topped this again with a staggering 97.5%... Ungodly, I tell you. Did I mention that was before moderation? Yups so another 100 after moderation... Engineer extraordinaire...
IHS - 88%. Nice stuff, more than I expected, and must really thank whoever marked my SEQ for giving me a full 22/22... This is top in both classes with Ollie and Kevin Tan.... heard that someone in 3.12 (the mugger class) got the same mark too, so it's really open to see if 88 is enough for top... The verdict is still out... Oh and gratz to those 3 other pple, with special mention to Ollie... We never knew you had it in you... Good stuff!
Geog - 98%. Far, far, far (and did I say far?) beyond my wildest expectations... this one was really by the Grace of God... so yea I topped by a whole 9% in front of the guy who got 2nd, someone from 3.15...
Overall average - 82.45%. 2nd in GEP level, after Mun. Truly did not expect this, even in my extreme optimism... 39/42 for pts system too....
Must also extend more congratulatory notes to others.
To BZ, for topping MEP. It doesn't matter what others say, at least you know you're the best where it matters.
To Karan, for topping History. Run 'em down! Ok nevermind.... But don't fret about your average too much yea? Like Pill says, it's only 1 exam, and you're still going to Founder's Day...
To Josh, for topping Bio. Don't fret yea? Know you didn't do as well as you wanted, but at least you finally got an award, and your hard work is most certainly deserving of it...
To Mun (again) for proving you are really that damn good.
To Jon Seah, both for proving that you are, at the end of the day, a pro science guy with 91 for physics.... and congrats for topping Com Science, I think....
And more to those who did very well....
To Kal, for getting 88 for geog. You've finally silenced those critics yea? Now they can't say anything about you.... Heh I always knew you could do it...
To Mingyi, for being "the Miracle Boy"... I must say, tremendous achievement, getting 73 for Maths, 87 for IHS, and proving the teachers wrong in just about every other subject nonetheless...
To Clem, Moh, etc. for getting 84 for LA... good job, perhaps Colin was a little better but y'all can always give him a run for his money next year ok?
To Moh specifically, for doing very well (naturally) for sciences and maths... ok maybe you didn't do that well in chem but the rest of them were pretty stellar.... yea so don't lose hope k? i'm sure you can better it next year...
To Jason, for going down with a fight... Don't worry ok? You didn't do that badly... anyway you can still make a comeback next year, and i'll always recognize you for your hard working skills...
Finally, to the rest of the top 5,
Mun (84.25%)
Colin (80.5%)
Moh (80%)
Bryan(79.2%)
for being extremely competitive all throughout the year. you guys have subconsciously pushed me to greater heights, so congratz on all that you got...
Many thanks also go out....
To God, who has blessed me and shown me his infinite grace and mercy.
To my Parents, for pushing me onwards, and believing in me.
To the Teachers, for helping me along and clarifying my doubts,
To my friends, for believing in me and encouraging me.
And as for those who didn't do as well as they wanted to, don't fret or worry ok? like Bill Chia said, it's only one exam, and as long as you're here in the IB you'll be alive and kicking.... so don't lose hope! Continue striving to that stage at Founder's day, and I'm sure you'll soon reach there...
Mood - Exuberant
Song - Can't Stop Praising - Hillsongs
Hillsong - Can't Stop Praising
Try to find the words
To express the way you are
But the beauty of the lord
Cannot be described in just one lifetime
Look at the sun over the seas
Look at your grace that covers me
Now I know
Yes I know
Now I know
I know your love has saved me
In the morning
I can't stop praising your name
In the evening
I can't stop praising your name
In the morning
I can't stop praising your name
In the evening
I can't stop
And I want you to know
Yes I want you to know
Oh yes I
Lord you're so amazing
Every word you say is true
Better than the finest treausre
So glad that I found you
You held me close
When I was down
Your world has turned my world around
Now I know
Yes I know
Now I know
I know how much I love you
Hallelujah
We praise your name
We praise your name
whee. I HAVE MY HANDPHONE!!!!! FINALLY!!!! YAY!!!!!!!
Ok on a less hyper note, i realized that my reading is crawling at a snail pace now. Really snail pace. Perhaps i should re-read some of the books that i so voraciously devoured in my primary school GEP years. At that time i was doing about a book a day.... I do remember once i lay down and read 3 books in a row, though my literary taste at that time was decidedly more juvenile than now... Perhaps it was unwise of the GEP branch to come up with a reading list which contained several unusually dense (even for people in secondary school) books, such as Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Doestovsky... Which does remind me, I must re-read that book now that I have got a lot of free time, because I don't seem to recall having firmly grasped the book. Must also try to get The Brothers Karamazov (by the same author) sometime. Now all I need to do is try to figure out why I'm taking so long to read The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy... I think I've already renewed it at the library some 3 times already... Must get down to finish reading it soon, though I must say that the book is brimming with literary devices, not to mention it's written in what I can describe as a very unique style...
Oh well. Must catch up on my reading next week onwards. Hmm must also try to obtain a few good books, such as Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie... not to mention the great classics such as Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, and so on...
But as for now, I shall probably go play Neverwinter Nights and let the computer sap my intellect... haha...
oh just look at the time. the night is young!
ok nvm. i just finished my main IRS *whew* but still havta do poster... sianz majorly...
kinda realized that once i lack inspiration and passion to do a job well, or at least motivation to complete it per se, then it becomes totally undone. need i count how many physics worksheets i have not handed in, as well as advanced math? i only did some advanced math WS cause i needed them. guess i still need more of them, as my rather dismal adv math exam would attest.
physics... exam was easy but i wouldn't count on it in the future.... more practice required.
i guess i need to work harder next year. yes i know that's what everyone says, but they never really carry out till the Os or As or some other major exams are breathing down their neck... and for us that's like in 3 years time in IB 2 where we really need to cheong.... but otherwise, i'm sure that most of us would be content to slack the entire time away, playing most of the time and working on select occasions when it is required... yet even then some would slack off when work is required... and so they go on, meandering on aimlessly through life.
people say that we should not focus on grades, that they aren't everything. but let's face it. they aren't everything only when we're talking less acad jobs, less studious areas, areas that require less expertise and more innate skill.... like being some super pro debater would only be useful when ur talking for applying for law at uni....
so people might say i'm wrong, and yes you have your own opinions, and i have mine. but for me, grades are everything. not everything that totally consumes my life in some relentless effort to top them all, but everything in terms of what i strive for in school. afterall, work is work, play is play, and my work are my grades. solely. my play is lots of other stuff that i can't be enamored to numerate here. yet i feel, that if you go to school, and meander on, with no real conceivable goal, without a target, without something to strive towards, then why even come? why school? why learn stuff? we might as well just come here and do nothing but socialize the whole day, and nothing more.
so i feel that we need a point to come to school and learn stuff. no, its not just that that will advance our education and become smarter, and get a btter job because of our qualification. i think we all need to set academic targets, at least for our personal selves, based on our ability and our potential given that we work hard.
i suppose i have a cap. i can't seem to break past the 90 limit, for maths and some humans liek geog which is super easy. i mean for science perhaps 90 is a little unrealistic, and maybe it's not. but i feel that in part, i have not worked to my full potential. considering that both my CCAs are not very strenuous, and my part in each is more bit than otherwise, even though i do try to make it down all the time.
friends? friends to me are part of fun. well its ok to have fun, and go out and socialize and all that, but i also feel that all things really do have a limit. sure, you wanna go watch this and that, fine, you wanna go shop, fine, and all that. but yet, somehow i feel that if that is the beginning and the end of our entire school experience... somehow we lose something.
i suppose not everyone feels good trying to challenge their limits in productive activities (i know that lots of people challenge their limits all the time in non-productive activities though). yet i can't really imagine myself just meandering on just like everyone else, with no conceivable goal.
my grades are already considerably good. yet perhaps as my own standards dictate, or as my mother has pointed out so many times, i can do better. it's true. would you like to know how much i really study? how much i studied for EOYs? i'll be surprised if i studied more than 15 hours for EOYs for everything except chinese (think i took bout 12-15 hours for chinese alone =X) yea that's lang arts nothing (it's not muggable) HCL 12-15 hours, Core math/Adv math 5 hours, Physics/Geog 5 hours, Chem/IHS 5 hours. yups so about 15 hours max. i know lots of people studied more than i did (or claimed to, at least). yet for whatever reasons, i feel more confident of scoring more than a good erm... 90% of the rest of the geps? (that's 54 pple) so yea...
are you done? you ask me. no, i answer you. i'll prove to you all, that however ego you think i am, i got the stuff to back it up all the damn way. all the way to the top. nothing less, nothing less.
so i may say this now, and you all may not believe me. i know many people do this kinda thing every year and yet never really get around to working harder. yes song, i know, that's what we all say the first few weeks of the year, and we never get around to doing it.
but i have pple i can group work with well. i have my groupwork all done and dusted with respect to team members.
personally, i just need to strive harder, even as i encourage others. i always say others will do well, and yes i do mean it when i say i think you will do well. cause we can all do well if we try hard enough, and how do i know how hard you tried? well your results. and before that, i can well say that i think you will do well. if you bother. if you try and give your all.
me? so maybe you may say whatever you want. but i believe in natural caliber.
some people are born a .22. some are born a .45. others are born a 32-inch battleship cannon. where do you stand?
even then, a 32-inch cannon will still misfire if it has faulty ammo. so that's where our working hard is. it gives us the propellant to go out guns blazing, to strike out respect and awe.
is there a cap? yes there is a cap. its called full marks.
so watch out next year. i'm looking out for number one.
and i'll be damned if i don't give mun (and moh and bryan) a run for their money.
perhaps i should be like nat and do some revision in this hols. brush up a little on my dismal A math. it needs lots of help. perhaps i should get math tuition? i dunno.
but at the end of the day, i want to at least craft my own ladder. and keep climbing up. my tuition teacher said she had a feeling i was destined for great things.
damn sure. all people who are self-motivated and strive do become great people. and the reverse is true - no slaggard will ever lead a country.
i guess it's all about what you can bring. i have not much to boast about in CCA achievement. not like josh.
so at the end of the IB, what can i bring to universities like stanford, MIT, harvard, yale, princeton et al? my CCA? but yet it isn't too good now, and i don't think it can really improve that much.
so there's only 1 thing i can bring. a perfect score. 45 points. nothing else of significance. and none will be needed. will they argue with a perfect score? would NUS argue with 4 As at A levels?
nope.
here we go. slacking is slacking. but things must change, and they will change soon. so make a little way, and reserve a seat for me. i'll be there in no time.
lalala. went out today with auggie, ben chia, poon, litz, hiu, mich, christine, feli, and vicky... though it wasn't really that way since it somehow fell apart of sorts...
well basically we started off with this weird plan that we would see them at the ticket counter and pretend not to know them until like after the movie, and then we would be like "oh ur here!" kinda lame stuff, don't ask me it was aug and mich's idea, so suffice to say it failed.... haha the minute we got there feli asked us about tickets so no more plan =X haha... so lame. we need to get ourselves a life very soon. now about that recreational camp.... hahaha...
so yea. but not only that the girls went to cheong off my themselves to go wherever (well its the day after their exams right, so...) yeah but basically abandoned us guys to go wherever... so yupz just like my predictions i ended up talking to litz like the whole time....
oh and saw quite a number of acs pple there (no this wasn't some funny plan of anyone's), yea apparently some of much's friends had invited pple from 3.16... oso saw mao there... with some of his friends and sth... so that makes for q a number of coinicidences yea...
anyway, there was like this weird mixup and benchia bought like 1 extra ticket... but in the end vic martin came and all that so that solved it.... hmph and she said she was busy.... ah nvm.
overall actually i think the whole thing was quite shi bai lar. we basically split into guys and girls and went off each our own way, which was kinda lame.... so yea. well at least when i organized this i thought that we were gonna like stick as one group or sth... ah well nvm.
oh yes. *someone* was being a major pain *glares* yes yes i'm sure the couple on the train were having sex.... you might wanna know that certain people want to kill u over the remarks you made, which she happened to hear...
yes and i'm sure me and litz/ poon and hiu would have done that in the cinema...
go to geylang lar benchia.
yawnz.... phuan apparently called up to say that i haven't done my ISO so guess what i'm doing now... so who wants to not sleep tonite? oh did i mention i didn't sleep last night either cause i was sneaking a few hours (too many) of com playing.... ah crap. is the poster due er... today? hope not, cause my initial thing isn't even done, though the poster would be a sinch compared to the 10,000 odd word report i would have to compile.
yuks. ISO sucks. who wants to do HSSRP next year? thinking of doing something along the lines of SMEs in the local context, taking into account pple like kenny yap....if possible maybe can arrange for interview with him... so yea. better at least get a nicer project than my current one.
*vomits blood* *dies*
oh well. dumb ISO.....
this may seem q out of pt now that results are 1 day away... but i kinda feel like it anyway. if i don't reflect on this now, will prob not be bothered to do it later. so yea here's my projected results...
(note this is in percentages)
LA - 75-80? kinda felt like i structured my essay ms see style for the first time... hope that helps the grades along...overall should be ok. hope this doesn't pull down my average... 6 pts anyway. this one is quite open to the vast majority to top... so not sure who can top this.
HCL - 60-65... the test was easier than most we've had this year and i knew all the han zi and chi yu so that would be a big plus pt... 5 by IB standards anyway. cl has never really been my forte anyway. mun's prob got top spot for this in the bag... though roy might give him a run for his money.
Core Math - 80-85... lost about 10 marks? but quite sure everything else is all correct... still just to be more conservative... 6 by IB standards, if very tyco then 7... think mun or bryan would top this...
Adv Math - 65-75... seriously screwed this one (screwed by my stds that is) and lost a fair deal of marks... muz kick myself for not having enuff time to finishe the last qn which was simplicity...
anyway see how much gan wants to give me for working. all those i didn't do i put down fair amt of working... 5 by IB standards, if gan (or the marking scheme) is nice then maybe 6...
and once again, mun or bryan would top this...
IHS - 85-90... seriously... was fricking easy... this one should be in the bag, barring some weird screwup. but hey, you can never tell with the way each individual marker marks. still, felt like i covered most of the bases so yea... but i think a 7 should be within reach. also hope can top this. a number of pple otherwise could top too. see how.
Geog - 85-90... also super easy... was i the only one who remembered the rock cycle and did question 4? hmm... question 3 was pretty good also... so thankfully i decided to study 4 topics! would have died for climate and rivers questions... anyway geog has been pretty easy all this time, although this year i have been losing out to mun... haha later sec 1 repeats itself and i beat him by half a mark... ok nvm... anyway 7 points in the bag. hope can top this. see how with mun. roy and song mayb also got threat...
Physics - 80. no range here cause i know that i can't get 85 thx to that lame spider thingy... also i lost 5 marks in main section, one is the braking qn, the other some mcq... yea so just to put a 3 mark buffer? so 80. 6 points. hmm seems like lotsa pple screwed this.... so its q open? don't think i will get top tho... hmm mayb one of e sc gang or pple like josh, bryan, jon seah, moh, other sc pple... see how.
Chem - 75-85. the lower mark range is cause even pple like bryan don't appear to have done very well... but it would own if i topped chem. haha. but anyway the whole paper was not that hard right? =X (ok approx 40-55 pple in the gep will now come and bash me up) but yea i thought it was q simple... 6 pts definitely, if tyco then 7...
hmm. one thing about slack mentors is that work gets pushed too far back! still haven't handed in ISO so guess what i'll be doing today... lol... but anyway my POD has been q good? so i think i can get those 3 extra points, which makes either 41-43 w/0 chinese and 40-42 with... the swing ones are core math and chem...
ok think that's about it. will know all or almost all tomorrow so we'll see how then.
[Edit]
oh yea forgot to add that i got my own bank account yesterday courtesy of the gahmen owned POSB... haha when i get enough money i'll prob stuff it in a structured deposit... could also do some stock speculation, though that might be a little too volatile...
anyway, will prob soon be getting a hp courtesy of gahmen owned singtel. sigh... guess that privately owned companies still cannot lead the industry in singapore.... courtesy of the ultra competitive gahmen...
oh yea. the starting of hells bells sounds great... the vocalist kinda spoils it with his crap... but oh well. old rock bands are kinda boring, but they do have a few good songs, like smoke on the water by deep purple...
anyway, better go do my ISO (sigh).
got rather big blisters today as a result of being pissed at my mom. yea after she left for swimming i took a chopper and vented my frustrations on one of the trees in my backyard... and got blisters as a result of gripping the chopper while slashing away violently at the tree... kinda scared... somtimes i get so angry... i think i could seriously kill someone... myself included.
exams over. but yet i don't feel that different. still the same ol slacker, stoning away in his corner of the world. yet i feel this year, more than any other, has been a major eye-opener for me. most of all, i realized that grades are not everything, which was what i thought in the past few years, that if i just stay somewhere at the top of the standard, then everything would be fine and dandy. and if it wasn't then i t would be when i left. afterall by like end of first term in p6 i was in q deep shit... but i guess i still was rebellious, so i thought, screw them, i'll be out of here soon... so when i got my psle grades, it came as quite a shock that i got what i got... and ever since then till quite recently i just kept clinging on to my grades, thinking that as long as i was smarter or scored better than others, then everything would be ok.
but everything's not ok. as many would know. things don't go our way, as much as we would like them to. i thought, damn, this final year's gonna be the easiest exam ever. but it wasn't. turns out it was the hardest exam ever, at least from my standpoint...
so if you strip away the outer shell of a man, what are you left with? strip away that protective facade, tear down the barriers, and that is where you can see the true depth of people. the inner self. and what if you find nothing there? isn't that scary, seeing how people, and even yourself, at times, can just meander on through life with no sense of direction, looking simply to paint and decorate that facade, and layer it over like a papier-máche doll? crumble it away and often there is nothing.
"everytime i'm alone i fall to pieces..."
i see so many people go on with no sense of direction. no meaning even. look at even our own gep. we're so concerned with surface issues, petty things, that we don't even see the bigger picture.
who cares whether 3.10 is superior to 3.9?
who cares about politics?
who cares about groupings for projects?
who cares about who's a slacker and who's pro?
who cares about who's a retard and who hates who?
too many people care, that's who.
but if you think a little deeper, life's too short to make enemies, to be so petty.
why don't we all let up? i mean, sometimes we all need to show more care, and stop focusing so much on ourselves. be more sensitive to the needs and wants of others around us. life isn't a one-man show, after all.
nietsche may have advocated a utilitarian society driven towards self-motvation and profit. he thought that a place in life was by birth, that we should not care for the less fortunate in society. ah yes. the idea of a superman, people who acheived much and fulfilled their ideals, people like socrates. (suspect someone will correct me on nietsche's theory)
yet, i guess when we're all too caught up with what's in front of us, we tend to lose sight of the overarching goal.
so exams are over. please. stop the politicking, competition, all the negatives that have marred the exterior of the gep, and sundered the interior of the same.
so people! kick back and enjoy life! stop all this competition, all the scheming and conniving, and make the most of what little of the 3 months we still have left this year. but even next year, do try to tone it down a little, ok?
so thanks to all those people out there. friends and otherwise. you helped me to realize my flaws, my shortcomings, and you helped me to change.
Mood - Inspired
Song - Duran Duran - (Reach out for the) Sunrise
Now the time has come
The music's between us
Though the night seems young
Is at an end
Only change will bring
You out of the darkness
In this moment everything is born again
Reach up for the sunrise
Put your hands into the big sky
You can touch the sunrise
Feel the new day enter your life
Reach up for the sunrise
Put your hands into the big sky
You can touch the sunrise
Feel the new day enter your life
Now the fireball burns
We go round together
As the planet turns into the light
Something more than dreams to
Watch out for each other
Coz we know what it means to be alive
Reach up for the sunrise
Put your hands into the big sky
You can touch the sunrise
Feel the new day enter your life
Reach up for the sunrise
Put your hands into the big sky
You can touch the sunrise
Feel the new day enter your life
Feel the new day enter your life
Feel the new day
Reach up for the sunrise
Put your hands into the big sky
You can touch the sunrise
Feel the new day enter your life
Reach up for the sunrise
Put your hands into the big sky
You can touch the sunrise
Feel the new day enter your life
Reach up for the sunrise
Put your hands into the big sky
You can touch the sunrise
Feel the new day enter your life
blah... stop pmsing at me.
everytime you just tell me to do something, you MUST add two or three complaints after it.
and you must always act like you're right.
and you must flood me with you skewed moral judgements.
so what if i watch mtv, or don't prepare my own breakfast, or even worse, ask you to wake up to go for your swimming?
last time i checked, you went for swimming for like 5 years without me asking you to wake up.
exams are over. but thanks to you, it doesn't feel like it.
so stop screaming away.
i don't fucking care.
so what if josh hoe is good in deb8, NCC and is a prefect?
so what if mun is always up there and is a prefect?
have you no other examples?
perhaps that's because you're the only perfectionistic one here.
well. reality check. most of us(students) don't have to do housework.
i do housework, study when i have to, get nice grades for you to see, and do this and that niceties. i even cleaned up my room yesterday, just as i said i would.
SO WHAT MORE DO YOU FUCKING WANT?
seems i'm never gonna be good enough for a certain overachieving bitch.
thanks a lot, mom.
for nothing.
second day of exams. IHS and Lang Arts. well today not too bad tho i still think its quite unfair to give us 10 min more for an extra lit question... and the 1st 3 were so darn easy too... last question asks us to refer to the entire passage, so had to compensate about 5-10 mins for the 1st 3 qns to do the last one... well hope this whole thing turns out ok... ihs was pretty good, expected types of societies to come out (thx for the hints pple) and it did, so i had good time balance... finished about 30 sec before time ended...
oh yea. found out that my explanation for the nitroaniline question was correct! hahaha so at least i didn't lose all 4 marks there....
ok then. off to get a little game time before going to mug hcl and math...
Christina Aguilera - Fighter
When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm
After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Oh, ohh
Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh
After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
oh and to whoever out there: do identify yourself when you wanna make offensives against me. do show some decency yea?
what you don't know CAN hurt you. especially if its a poison like o-nitroaniline. =X eeks....
that about sums up the chem paper i suppose... major ownage questions... well hope i can remain somewhere at the top... guess there goes my 85% overall average... anyhow chinese shi han was kinda screwed.... i just didn't feel intelligent when i was writing it... zuo wen was a little better cause i managed to write quite a bit but still felt like i may have gone slightly off tangent...
oh well. lang arts and IHS tml. not that worried bout those but maths and physics are kinda unprepped... and unlike geog i can't prep them in 3 hours...
oh well 2 down, 8 more to go! keep on going everyone... (q sure no one's gonna read this till aft the exams but nvm anyway) we'll go the distance, and we'll make it... the culmination of the year's work...
oh yes. shall take heart that both exams tml are worth 30% of the year's work, substanstially less than the rest of the exams that we're taking... rest worth at least 45%... still will try my best.
Jewel - Hands
If I could tell the world just one thing
it would be that we're all o.k.
And not to worry
cause worry is wasteful
And unless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I wont be idled with dispair
I will gather myself around my faith
for light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
but it didn't steel your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
but i knew it wasnt ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
for someone must stand up for what's right
cause where there's a man who has no voice
there our's shall go singing
My hands are small, i know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees and I will pray
I will get down on my knees and I will pray
I will get down on my knees and I will pray
My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken
My hands are small, i know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
God's hands
God's hands
Name: Benjamin Soh
Birthday: 11/02/1989
Nicks: BS
School: ACS(I)
Contact(msn): ben.soh@gmail.com
[[ My Likes ]]
Food: Meats, preferably in large quantities
Drinks: All carbonated ones, DOM, Absolut, Johnny Walker
Pastimes: Chatting, Basketball, Reading
People: Friendly, Talkative, Intellectual
[[ My Detests ]]
People: Backstabbers, Bimbos, Bitches
Things: Not being appreciated, Obscurity
Food: Coriander
[[ Music's Playing ]]
Probot - My Tortured Soul
[[ My History ]]
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[[ My Friends ]]
My other blog
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Guangyan's uber PRO site...
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For some REALLY good laughs...
Anonymous Noises
Irrelevant Noises
Moons of Europa
Poblem Engrish
The Retroscope
The Space Frame
Two Ravens
Voice of the Voiceless
Proleteriats Unite!
Project Gutenberg
Supremeness of State
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