[[*---Virtu contro al Furore---*]]

Friday, October 08, 2004

______________________________

got rather big blisters today as a result of being pissed at my mom. yea after she left for swimming i took a chopper and vented my frustrations on one of the trees in my backyard... and got blisters as a result of gripping the chopper while slashing away violently at the tree... kinda scared... somtimes i get so angry... i think i could seriously kill someone... myself included.

exams over. but yet i don't feel that different. still the same ol slacker, stoning away in his corner of the world. yet i feel this year, more than any other, has been a major eye-opener for me. most of all, i realized that grades are not everything, which was what i thought in the past few years, that if i just stay somewhere at the top of the standard, then everything would be fine and dandy. and if it wasn't then i t would be when i left. afterall by like end of first term in p6 i was in q deep shit... but i guess i still was rebellious, so i thought, screw them, i'll be out of here soon... so when i got my psle grades, it came as quite a shock that i got what i got... and ever since then till quite recently i just kept clinging on to my grades, thinking that as long as i was smarter or scored better than others, then everything would be ok.

but everything's not ok. as many would know. things don't go our way, as much as we would like them to. i thought, damn, this final year's gonna be the easiest exam ever. but it wasn't. turns out it was the hardest exam ever, at least from my standpoint...

so if you strip away the outer shell of a man, what are you left with? strip away that protective facade, tear down the barriers, and that is where you can see the true depth of people. the inner self. and what if you find nothing there? isn't that scary, seeing how people, and even yourself, at times, can just meander on through life with no sense of direction, looking simply to paint and decorate that facade, and layer it over like a papier-máche doll? crumble it away and often there is nothing.

"everytime i'm alone i fall to pieces..."

i see so many people go on with no sense of direction. no meaning even. look at even our own gep. we're so concerned with surface issues, petty things, that we don't even see the bigger picture.

who cares whether 3.10 is superior to 3.9?
who cares about politics?
who cares about groupings for projects?
who cares about who's a slacker and who's pro?
who cares about who's a retard and who hates who?

too many people care, that's who.
but if you think a little deeper, life's too short to make enemies, to be so petty.
why don't we all let up? i mean, sometimes we all need to show more care, and stop focusing so much on ourselves. be more sensitive to the needs and wants of others around us. life isn't a one-man show, after all.

nietsche may have advocated a utilitarian society driven towards self-motvation and profit. he thought that a place in life was by birth, that we should not care for the less fortunate in society. ah yes. the idea of a superman, people who acheived much and fulfilled their ideals, people like socrates. (suspect someone will correct me on nietsche's theory)
yet, i guess when we're all too caught up with what's in front of us, we tend to lose sight of the overarching goal.

so exams are over. please. stop the politicking, competition, all the negatives that have marred the exterior of the gep, and sundered the interior of the same.
so people! kick back and enjoy life! stop all this competition, all the scheming and conniving, and make the most of what little of the 3 months we still have left this year. but even next year, do try to tone it down a little, ok?

so thanks to all those people out there. friends and otherwise. you helped me to realize my flaws, my shortcomings, and you helped me to change.

Mood - Inspired
Song - Duran Duran - (Reach out for the) Sunrise

Now the time has come
The music's between us
Though the night seems young
Is at an end
Only change will bring
You out of the darkness
In this moment everything is born again

Reach up for the sunrise
Put your hands into the big sky
You can touch the sunrise
Feel the new day enter your life

Reach up for the sunrise
Put your hands into the big sky
You can touch the sunrise
Feel the new day enter your life

Now the fireball burns
We go round together
As the planet turns into the light
Something more than dreams to
Watch out for each other
Coz we know what it means to be alive

Reach up for the sunrise
Put your hands into the big sky
You can touch the sunrise
Feel the new day enter your life

Reach up for the sunrise
Put your hands into the big sky
You can touch the sunrise
Feel the new day enter your life

Feel the new day enter your life
Feel the new day

Reach up for the sunrise
Put your hands into the big sky
You can touch the sunrise
Feel the new day enter your life

Reach up for the sunrise
Put your hands into the big sky
You can touch the sunrise
Feel the new day enter your life

Reach up for the sunrise
Put your hands into the big sky
You can touch the sunrise
Feel the new day enter your life

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|7:10 PM|

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