[[*---Virtu contro al Furore---*]]

Sunday, January 30, 2005

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Severance

Did you walk to the edge of nullification
And did it stare back in deep circumspection?
Sensing nothing amiss
Step into mortifying abyss

Did you stare into the mirror; or were you shy?
and did you find "Ignorance is bliss", that old lie?
Fools tread that road of opprobrium
Peccatorum expecto mortuum

Did you watch the wheel of time
As it crushed your unspeakable crime?
Hands march ever onward
Eroding all that is seen and heard

And did you ever stumble and fall
Sound out dulcet forlorn call?
No one there to take your hand
But perdurably to sink into sand

Let us forget
Lest we regret

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|5:26 PM|

Thursday, January 27, 2005

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Heart of Darkness

How do you read something that forces you to check the dictionary every 30 seconds on average? Yet in a way, this does lend itself to a form of masterful creation, a amalgamation of both grandiose vocabulary (thank goodness for my in-palm oxford dictionary) and yet a smooth and silky flow of both plot and character development.
If i have any writing aspirations, it would be to write like Conrad. His style somehow combines the aforementioned elements into a beautiful masterpiece of prose, which, although appears a tad verbose or dense at first sight, does eventually blend itself into a vivid story.
It's the kind of book that must be read twice - whether reading a specific part twice or the entire book once and then again. The first time, to understand the whole thrust and crux of the story, and the second, just to appreciate with mute genuflection.

In other readings, have finished Metamorphosis by Kafka. It seems to be the sort of story not unlike The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, which basically is a simple story, perhaps with certain unusual or supernatural pretexts, which is not necessarily written in a particularly grabbing or masterful style, but instead is layered, by and by, with a great deal of literary significance, often particularly imposed there by the author (and it is noticeable by the abject passivity of the author's attitude towards said supernatural pretexts), and it is hence interesting to see how a simple (or perhaps not so simple) text, at least on the surface, can contain such deep literary thoughts and subtly developed ideas.

Still need to complete Oedipus Rex. Yawn.

If God is a DJ
Life is the Dance Floor
Love is a rhythm
You are the Music...

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|9:35 PM|

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

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Remembrance
-- A Sonnet

Silhouette of an age long gone before
Features ever ossified, indurate
Eldritch epiphany that coruscates
Seriatim Remembrance - the things of yore

The bonds of friendship never really made
Yet still recognition of times gone past
And since there was nothing to go to rust
Light of new relations may now cascade

It is yet not enough to remember
Nor make perfunctory this benison
Arising, step forth in bold rendition
Consummation of this new rejoinder

For I never forget a person's face
So watch your steps for they will leave a trace

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|8:06 PM|

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

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Disdain

Sometimes i laugh.
At who? Myself, and others.
Why? At the folly of all our actions, here and there.
When? All the time. Folly is never lacking.
About what? Hypocrisy mostly. What goes around always comes around dearies.
Where? Especially when i see the effects of these people.
How? Silently, and anonymously, of course.

In other news, finished Machiavelli's The Prince (since the last post about it). It would seem that the advice given is quite decent, even applicable to modern day politics, except of course, that media transparency and the proliferation of term-based democracy did not exist at that time, so that would accordingly affect the modes and style of governance adopted by the government, which the prince represents.

Also finished Marx/Engels' Communist Manifesto, which is, at first reading, utter crap in a verbose and lyrical shell, and on closer examination, it is mainly inapplicable to modern day life and politics on two counts: Firstly, that the systems of exploitation and arduous labor present at the beginning of the industrial revolution no longer exist. Well actually, the entire manifesto is hung on this point and this point alone. Marx assumed that the bourgeois would continue to miserably exploit the workers under their jurisdiction, of course not realizing that eventually, avenues such as unions, strikes, and of course medical science (the unhealthiness of the general industrial age working conditions) would naturally push said bourgeois to alleviate working conditions in general, which is naturally what we see in modern day life. To that effect, communism was an outdated form of governance even before the bolshevik revolution, because industrial conditions had necessarily improved a great deal since the time of the writing of the manifesto. At any rate, despite Marx's protest to the contrary, the whole meritocratic ideal still stands in diametrical opposition: that people, if they no longer get paid as much as they deserve, but instead as much as they need, then of course the incentive to work hard is removed. Marx also, in a critical error, failed to determine what yardstick would be used for measuring the amount to be redistributed to the people.
Basically, communism could work, if one managed to factor some form of meritocracy into it, otherwise, all we see is the general stagnation of economy and agglomeration of power into a few individuals, e.g. the USSR.

Starting on Kafka's Metamorphosis now, for ERP. Seems from the outset to be quite an intriguing book. Still, may perhaps be a little deep for just 650-1000 words. If all else fails will just go back to the school library and pull out Ishiguro's Remains of the day.

And as for you hypocrite, here's something.

You've got a hole inside that you have to feed
You've got a hole you'll use to get what you need
And then you look to see if I care
But I can't, and I never did
What'd you expect me to give
You never deserved my respect

How many ways can you try
It burns a hole inside my mind...

---Anthrax, HyProGlo

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|6:27 PM|

Saturday, January 22, 2005

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Jubilation

God is Great!
and his love
Fills the earth
Fills the heavens...

Nope i didn't give up. And i must say, god has most certainly rewarded me in the utmost. 3 debates. Won all 3. And i was debating in 2. Most significant, as pointed out by Joseph Lau, was that in the second debate, I was given the same marks as Amoz and Imran, people who have had so much experience at the top level, and who have such convincing styles and powerful content!
I haven't felt so good in a long long long time.
Imagine our surprise when they announced that we had won VJC. Such a strong team. Such power, and we conquered. Not even our most powerful team too, with Auggie Me and Cheam debating the second and third debate with Paul and Sean gone for their test...
We were David. And God had empowered us to triumph over a Goliath of a task, of beating 3 JCs, and not only that, breaking into the semis over VJ.
Auggie. Sam. Paul. Sean. WE CAN DO IT! We'll take down ACJC, and we'll triumph.
Even if we don't, the experience of this competition has been unforgettable.
My first competition.
3 JCs.
3 Wins.
To the rest, to JGs team 1 and 2.
Auggie. Kal. Joseph. Josh.
Sean. Sam. Paul.
And whichever sec 2s come in.
Whether i join you or not, go.
Go and Conquer. Conquer them all.
If we can take the battle to VJ and win, we can do it anywhere.
So pick up the ashes of Josh, Michael, Adi, and Matt.
WIN.

Veni
Vidi
Vici

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|4:36 PM|

Friday, January 21, 2005

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Entropy

All things come to an end
All things return to sand
All things that man has made
All things that have been said

The second law decreed
Less than you sow you reap
Now in stark derision
Witness our privation

Walls are crumbled away
Morals are dead they say
Not what they used to be
Who knows if they will see

Creation so complex
But a self-imposed hex
Empires built my your hand
Mean nothing in the end

All men are created equal
And all men pass away equal

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|7:20 PM|

______________________________

Weathered

Drying up, burning out. Where has all enthusiasm, all my energy, gone to?
Had prep for SRJCs today. And yes, i should be excited because i'm going to my first competition. However minor. But then again, i'm not going to the JGs, unless i go plead with Joan or something. And yes, that's exactly what i should be doing now. Yet, somehow, i'm not. The passion is sorely lacking. The alacrity and the conviction has seeped away.
Well shoot me, cause i just asked.
But, even then, my performance tomorrow counts a good deal.
Am I being too selfish? Perhaps.
Am I being unconscious of my blessings? Definitely.
Too many pressures, too many results that matter.
A never-ending menagerie of pressures, that siphons the fun and the laughter from even those times where i try to relax and get away from it all.
Interestingly, i realized, last night, the reason why i never seemed to click with my class people that well. Because i'm emotionally unstable, and yet for the sake of public appearances, hide it all away, and never explode in front of people that matter to me.
Perhaps, that will come back to haunt me one day, this non-confrontational attitude.
Perhaps.

Sometimes I feel like... giving up.

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|4:51 PM|

Sunday, January 16, 2005

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Horizons

Stopping on Bifurst, the rainbow bridge
I watched Heimdall sound Gjallar
Crystalline note galloping forth
One Last Time

As Gotterdammerung began i walked on
Saw seven seals and seven trumpets
A Beast and a Dragon
Drinking a cup of wrath

As judgement progressed i sat down
No, not at the right hand
But i saw Paradise lost was regained
And all was restored

So i reached out my hand
And took of the Fruit
Small simple bite
But a long way to fall

Refresh
Restore
Repeat

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|5:50 PM|

Saturday, January 15, 2005

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Night
--inspired by the book of the same title by Elie Wiesel

Ghosts submersed in blind white
Ashen faces livid
Void eyes frozen rigid
Nature's Funeral Rite

Nameless, Faceless they fell
Wearied beyond all life
Seeking to end all strife
Into cold fluffy hell

Dead shout accusations
From their silent death-beds
Emaciated heads
Jury of rejection

A funeral parlour
For Jews utterly lost
Victims of Holocaust
Maleficient candour

Where was God when we saw
Children on the gallows
Agonizing death throes
Long trudge towards death's maw

Little jew-boy watching
Something shatters his soul
With conscience frozen cold
Witness Yahweh's hanging

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|2:40 PM|

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

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The Prince

"He who believes that new benefits will cause great personages to forget old injuries is deceived." - Niccolo Machiavelli

How true indeed, although that is not to say that i consider myself a great personage or something to that effect. Yet it does reflect how, often, one always holds a grudge, and never lets it out, even when the associated offending party in question tries to heal the wound. It is in all manners similar to a malignant cancer, always growing, always gnawing away, until all that we hold inside is rotten away to the core.

In other interesting ideas, Machiavelli also expounds on how usurpers to a throne or, in our context, any seat of power, as it may be, must do all the harm and destruction necessary to consolidate power within the shortest time possible, such that the people will forget them, and then he must spread benefits of his rule slowly over a long time frame, such that there is that ever-present gratituity from the populace.

Interesting, no? Shall continue on this when I have finished reading The Prince.

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|7:58 PM|

Monday, January 10, 2005

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The Fallen 02
--dedicated to Mun

Who can see his burden?
He on the pinnacle of achievement
To climb so high is to have
So far to fall
A shattered mirror gleams
But cannot be
Regathered once again
Scattered like the seeds that fell
Upon the cobbled path
Never to grow but to be
Devoured

Not to be
To suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
And to think it nobler in the mind
To block it all away
Pavise of mystery
Shields not
Not from caustic laughter
Not from stark derision
Not from our careless lips

He came unto the world
And we received him not
He stretched out his arms
And we loved him not
He sighed in a corner
And we noticed not
To take the veil of opacity
To take a path of ignominy
To take caution at every step
Is that his due?

Foreclosure of a dream
His visions never seen
So watch his stuttering sleep
And know still waters run deep

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|4:33 PM|

Sunday, January 09, 2005

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The Fallen 01

I stumbled in darkness
Down a stone-cobbled road
On my way to madness
With a back-breaking load

Trying too hard I fall
Laugh while broken inside
Hear my despondent call
As I drown in the tide

To die when no one cares
No pity and no solace
Martyr of your nightmares
Vanish without a trace

Sometimes I wonder if people really care about me.
Perhaps not.

On another note, Cynic is getting rather irritating. So if you read this, take your phony passivity and rationalism elsewhere. Because it's becoming quite obvious that you're not pure and cynical, and your rationale is clouded with the very emotion you claim to throw off like a light mantle. So be helpful for once, and change, just as you so rightly declared on shiv's blog.

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|1:58 PM|

Thursday, January 06, 2005

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Excession

Vile Vituperation
Volumine Vitriol
Mindless Mendacity
Moribund Mortally

Ablation and Abolition
Repudiate the Revelry
Beware Ruin's Incarnation
Cloaked as Incessant Gaiety

Let not happiness become your downfall
Beware attachment to that which you crave
For when the gods sound this world's death call
You will be first to hearken to the grave

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|4:04 PM|

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

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Confusion

Perhaps those who say ignorance is bliss are the ones whom are right. So we laugh at them, and think them to be fools, but perhaps it is us who are the fools.
And yet, my own personal experience both supports and contradicts this. So where do I stand?
And yet, other's ignorance may increase our own suffering. Careless words, in the wrong context, in the wrong situation, tear gaping holes in our hearts. We seal them over, but eventually we see still an ugly keloid - a scar, a reminder that what was sundered can never really be reprised fully.
Loose Lips Sink Ships, indeed. And in this case the ship is not a tangible material thing, but an ethereal thing, something we call our heart, our soul.
Sometimes that ship breaks upon the rocks. And spiral into a descent of madness. Sometimes that ship rams an iceberg, and drowns in the bowels of the deep. And we shuffle off this plane, of our own accord.
But sometimes. We become like the Titanic, but we do not sink. A festering gash ripped in our sides, which we seal off, and all seems well again. Yet that wound is ever dripping, seeping our emotional blood away. Where do we go at the end? Into a cold and lifeless shell.
Stuck at a crossroads again. Do i assume the best, try to impose self-willed ignorance upon myself and think nothing of it? Or do i push the matter, perhaps reopening old scars, in search of the truth?
Perhaps i contradict myself, but is the truth really so good? Will it really set you free? That i question.

"Make your choice, adventurous Stranger;
Strike the bell and bide the danger,
Or wonder, till it drives you mad,
What would have followed if you had."
-- Inscription on a golden bell, from The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis

Perhaps i will go mad sometime. Someday. But for now, I take my choice, and step away.

I have made my choice, wondrous bell.
Perhaps my mind shall become hell.
But firm I stand, so tarry thee;
Let not the bell toll for me.

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|11:31 PM|

Monday, January 03, 2005

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First Day of School

A Fresh Start
Long Pants
But things are
The Same

Same People, same Faces.
Veil of Seniority
Hides not our puerility
The vigor of youth

Growing up
All too soon
Abandon Innocence
Take your Mantle

Responsibility
Fate of peers
In our Hand
Gift us not Such

Where do we begin?
Embrace life's brevity
Laugh or cry
Caught in the middle

The pallor of Youth
Growing up too fast
Shattered inside
They hear not our cry

[[ Sagacious Musings ]]*|11:09 PM|